Coping With Anger

We all experience anger at times and often it is when we are facing adversity that our anger rears its ugly head the most.

Why do I feel so angry?
First of all allow yourself the right to feel as you do. Trying to force yourself to feel differently or punishing yourself psychologically for feeling as you do is not going to benefit you and probably frustrate you further. Society trains us to avoid angry feelings and thus when we become angry we often try to suppress that emotion or we make ourselves feel that we are wrong to feel that way. The act of denying anger when we feel angry can lead to depression. We deny how we feel, paste on a smile and pretend everything is ok when it truly isn't. The truth is that we've only displaced the emotion. Anger is like boiling water in a tea kettle building up steam. If the valve is not open it will blow the lid eventually.

We've all felt angry at times. Sometimes the anger falls more in the category of being annoyed but then again every human being has at some time or another experienced the full rage of anger. Anger is a natural emotion that if you feel it, you can try to control it, learn to tame it, and redirect it but you may still get angry when you are faced with a difficult task. You must first find out what it is you are angry at. Write it down. Just let go and write a long list of what it is that you are angry at or about. Anger is a part of any grieving process and we do grieve at times of adversity such as when we feel a disease has taken the life we planned on living away from us or we lose someone special in our life, among other things. So the thing to do is not to try and ignore or rid ourselves of ever getting angry but to find ways to redirect it, put it to good use, etc.

I've had many emotions over the years that have shocked me. The most shocking one was how angry I was when I lost a special person in my life and how quickly that anger turned into deep, deep depression. Actually I didn't even realize the change from one emotion to the other because it happened so quickly. That leaves me to think that there is a fine line between anger and depression.

When I was angry I wanted to pretend that the thing I was angry at didn't exist and go on as if nothing had changed in my life. This didn't work long for me because soon I was forced to face reality. When that time came where I had no choice but to realize that I had to face my new life, this unwavering, relentless anger quickly engulfed me. It controlled every fiber of my being. It was so strong that the rest of my emotions seemed to pack up and say "see ya later". The anger chased happiness, joy, love and peace away.

I was angry at everything and on some days just about every body. The one thing that I felt I should have been the most angry at was gone from my life and I was trying to pretend the pain from that loss didn't exist. Because of this denial it didn't allow me to focus my anger where it belonged so I misplaced it onto other things and sadly, other people. The truth is that the person I was angry at was as innocent as I was and I was still alive while his life had ended.

I've come to realize that this is just part of coping with loss of any kind. We go through a multitude of emotions before reaching a level where we can accept the changes it has brought to our life. Once we reach that level we then begin to redirect emotions such as anger to more positive uses. We don't ridicule ourselves for feeling that way we just use it for positive purposes or do something to alleviate the emotion.

A serious danger with anger is when we hold onto it. We get angry, vent it but we don't let go of it. We must find a way to express it appropriately and then to discard it so we can move on with our life in a positive manner. Some people use anger as if it is a security blanket because it will block out all other emotions. It numbs them against reality. They rely on the fuel from their anger to get them through life. The key is to face the anger, identify what it is we are angry about and then to address those issues and find a way to put the anger to rest.

Why do I get angry because others are so happy?

A person may be the type who enjoys seeing someone happy and would never begrudge someone of having a good, prosperous and healthy life. So when they begin to get angry at the fact that their friends, family members or just people they see out in the world are going on with their life, this confuses them. Seeing others our own age running with their children, functioning in the normal busy world, taking part in sports and other activities can remind us of the things we no longer feel like taking part in. Some people may feel rejected when their friends begin going out with other friends who are more active then we are and this can make us have a lot of different emotions including anger. This reaction is not stemmed from some deep seated selfishness we didn't know existed. In actuality we are grieving over what we've lost. The people living normally just remind us of how our life has changed and the anger we then feel is the way we've chosen emotionally to express that.

Am I a bad person because I'm so angry?

The simple answer is NO. Emotions you feel does not make you a bad person. Don't ever beat yourself up because of the feelings you are experiencing. You've been hit hard and it is understandable that you'd have a wide range of emotions, including anger. The key is to identify the anger and find ways to use it in a positive way or to alleviate the angry feelings.

How can I control my anger?

Some people have more angry tendencies than others but we all can learn ways to control it. One way to control it is to calm ourselves down. Calm down by perhaps trying to take a deep breath, go to a silent place and practice deep breathing. Sit and control your breathing to a specific rhythm and then imagine yourself in a calm place.

It is important to control anger because scientists have reported that when a person is feeling the emotion of anger their heart beats faster and they experience a rise in their blood pressure. In other words anger can affect your health.

Changing the way we think can help with controlling anger. Anger never fixes a problem and it can cause more complications because often we say things we shouldn't say or things we don't truly mean when we are angry.

How can I communicate with others when I'm so angry?

When we are angry we tend to curse or speak in tones that are very offensive and even hurtful to others. We also use stronger words in our vocabulary such as "Never" or "always" when describing our thoughts and others actions. Have you ever said something like "Never speak to me again" and didn't mean it? This is probably the out of control anger speaking. Speaking to others in this way will alienate them and the sad truth is that oftentimes these are people who care for us and would be willing to help us and be there for us.

When you are very angry it is a good idea to take a deep breath and not communicate with others until you are thinking clearly. We may believe that we are thinking logically but most of the time when we are at our most angry stage we are thinking irrational. This is when we must slow down our breathing and repeat in our minds thoughts that help us to calm down.

How can I redirect my anger?

I'd like to share my own experiences in this area. I know I may seem like such a chipper gal to you all now but boy oh boy have I come a long way baby :-) I went through a period where anger was my middle name. I was angry at me, everyone and everything. It isn't anyone's fault, not even my own what had happened in my life.

First you must identify the anger. Once you identify what it is you are angry at then you can make positive changes or steps to a solution or at least to help ease the feelings. One way I use my anger is to fuel my determination to fight and have a happy life at all odds. One way to cope with tough emotions such as anger is to occupy yourself. For me I found hobbies that I could do, I have now got involved online and have really poured my heart into it. I volunteered when I could at places that needed my help. I made friends and went to lunch with them. Did special things, however small they may be for my family and that made me feel useful. I write in my journal and express my emotions. I write poetry. Read a good book. Do crafts if I can and find others if I can't do the ones I used to now. You just have to look inside of yourself and let your creative juices flow and find what you can do and would want to do.

Trying to make yourself feel better and feel that you still have a purpose in life will make a world of difference in helping you deal with anger, sadness and the grieving process. Yes your life is not and may never be what it was before but you can still have a wonderful, happy, prosperous and meaningful life. I know this because I am living that wonderful new life. Do I still get angry at times, frustrated at times, fed up at times. Of course I do and I give myself permission to have those days because those days of trouble are a way for me to cleanse my emotions and vent how I feel so I can have more positive days just around the corner.

Older When Diagnosed With Type I

Type I diabetes was previously referred to as "Juvenile diabetes". Even with the change in the identification many still view Type I as being something you get when you are a child or a very young adult. It is fairly rare for someone my age (44 when diagnosed) to be diagnosed with that form of the disease but it does happen and I'm proof. I was misdiagnosed based solely on my age for a couple of days with type II before they realized I was not responding to oral treatments and they got all the test results. A friend was at the hospital visiting me the night that they changed my diagnosis to Type I and she made a gasp and said "oh no you have the serious kind you poor thing". First of all any type of diabetes is the "serious" kind. Second, I view myself very fortunate after reading from so many online who have had this since childhood. I was spared all the heartache of being a youth and growing up in this cruel world while battling this disease.

However getting diagnosed at this age has its own hurdles and social issues because when I share that I am newly diagnosed with type I often I get the look of disbelief. I've even had someone say to me that the doctors must be wrong because only children get that type. If I just share that I have type I then they usually ask how young was I when diagnosed and then comes the explanation and the look of confusion. Just as children are now being diagnosed with Type II there are adults who can and do get diagnosed with Type I.

In my opinion there needs to be a widespread effort to enhance public awareness of the new terms used for these forms of the disease as well as the changing data of those who are diagnosed. Technology has came a long way as far as media is concerned and we need to use it to our benefit so those children who are diagnosed with type II and those adults who get diagnosed with Type I don't have to suffer in the social realm from the old stereotypes.

Dunce, Dunce, Dunce

I made a major boo boo and paid the price. I was suffering with high bg levels in the afternoon and evening hours so my doc recommended I split my dose of Lantus into two shots daily. I was taking one dose at night and changed to taking half dose in the morning and the other half at night. The theory is that the one dose wasn't lasting long enough to get me through the day.

For about two days this seemed to be doing the job and I was relative steady then that all went down the toilet. I began having lows throughout the day and it was an intense struggle to get the levels up only to see them fall again very quickly.

I didn't know what the problem was at first. I kept thinking I needed more carbs, maybe was getting a cold, etc. I am so so so much in the learning phase. I didn't realize just how much until this little fiasco. After two days of lows and me battling it ferociously I finally called the doctor. She said that my Lantus is probably lasting longer than the 12 hour interval between shots and I'm seeing an overlap in working insulin and to go back to the one shot and do corrections if I go high in the afternoon and evening hours.

This sounds easy enough doesn't it.... Well LOL NOOOOOOOOOO it wasn't. The morning my doctor told me to change back to one dose daily I had already taken my shot of the half dose. I got so confused at trying to figure out how to get back to the one shot daily without seeing my glucose levels go out of whack that I took the whole dose again..... Can we say LOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Oh yea. I crashed...

Glucagon here we go and the day was a horrible mess. Finally I got back to taking the Lantus at the right time and in one shot and things leveled out. I do still have the highs in the evening but I'm working on that with my diet and my bolus insulin. I felt like a dunce when I realized what I had done. Oh well, we live and learn but this stuff can really get your head spinning and confuse the daylight out of you.